


Downing in Memories

by Tiger1708



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Poor Alex - Freeform, Storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiger1708/pseuds/Tiger1708
Summary: A storm incites memories that Alex would rather forget, but John is there to help him through it.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 7
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

Dark, rolling clouds covered the sky. Rain pelted the windows viciously and the apartment was illuminated in a flash of lightning.

Alexander desperately scrabbled to find a pen. He ripped open his draws and sifted through the mess of papers that littered his desk.

There!

He picked it up with shaky hands and turned to the nearest sheet of paper.

Nothing appeared on the page and he shut his eyes tightly as he attempted to reign in the renewed panic that blossomed in his chest.

It was out of ink. That was okay, he just had to find a new one.

Jittery eyes searched the apartment; his vision became blurry as hot tears streamed down his cheeks. He was attempting to steady his breathing when he caught sight of a pen sitting innocently on his coffee table and nearly fell over in his haste to retrieve it.

This time black ink spilled from the pen and Alexander immediately began to write. His words were as scattered as his thoughts.

_Unforgiving waves consume him in their depths._

_Can’t breathe can’t breathe._

His fingers smudged the fresh ink.

_The current is toying with him as it spins him around. He doesn't know which is up or down._

The words became increasingly illegible and tears dripped down onto the paper.

_His chest feels like it might explode._

A phone was ringing somewhere in the background.

_Tears mix with the ocean._

Alexander didn't hear it over the pounding rain, the deafening thunder, and the screaming in his head.

_He can’t see air leave his mouth as he cries out._

He started sobbing, and the pen fell from his grasp.

_His vision starts to go black and he can no longer muster the energy to fight the inevitable._

There were desperate knocks at his door, voices outside.

There was a quiet click as a key turned in a lock, hurried footsteps approached.

_But then a hand reaches out to him, grabs his arm and pulls him up, up into the light._

Someone was cradling him gently and whispering soothing words in his ear.

_And he can breathe again._

He let the voice wash over him and his pulse gradually slowed.

Alexander was suddenly overcome by exhaustion.

_But he can’t fall asleep; the hurricane, his village._

He forced his heavy eyelids open and it took a moment for him to focus on the person running their fingers through his hair reassuringly. He was greeted by a freckled face and a kind smile.  
"John," he breathes.

"You’re safe now Alexander."

So Alexander let his eyes droop shut, and he fell into a tormented sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning light streamed through the window as Alexander slowly began to regain consciousness. The first thing that he noticed was that he was in his bed. He rubbed his eyes groggily; he didn’t usually get to bed before he passed out. 

He rolled over and his eyes widened when he saw John lying across from him and a cascade of memories assaulted him.

The storm; he had gotten home late from work, completely unprepared for the vicious weather that had arrived so abruptly. John had had to console him while he was completely hysterical. Laf and Herc had probably witnessed the spectacle as well. 

His breathing quickened.

He had to distract himself before his mind delved deeper into yesterday's events. He reached over and grabbed the alarm clock resting on his bedside table. 9:00am. He was late for work. He sat up in horror; Washington would be so disappointed in him.

“Alex?” A voice from beside him mumbled.

“John, I have to go. I'm late for work.” His voice had raised a pitch in panic but John’s hand reached out and snagged his wrist before he was able to leap out of bed. 

“Don’t worry, I called Washington. He told me that you should take the week off.” 

Alexander sagged in relief, but now that John had eased that worry, the mortification began to settle in. He sunk back into the mattress in defeat. There was silence as Alexander stared up at the ceiling, and John watched him in concern.

“I’m sorry about that.”

The sheets rustled as John scooted closer and grabbed Alexander’s hand.

“There is nothing to be sorry for. I promise.”

He turned over so that he was facing John, but he stared down at his hands as they fiddled with the covers. “Thank you,” he whispered.

A hand caught his chin and tenderly raised it until Alexander was looking John in the eyes. 

“Always. I love you Alexander.” 

The words made a silly smile blossom on his face; his cheeks heated up and a swarm of butterflies appeared in his stomach. He felt as if he was floating above the clouds while gazing at the magnificent sun. The warmth that entered his chest made him feel like he was glowing.

Alexander leaned forward until their foreheads were touching; he admired the freckles that were scattered across John’s cheeks, his soft smile and his wonderfully luminescent green eyes. 

“I love you too.”

A door slammed open and the two instinctively scrambled apart but Alex’s foot got caught in the covers and he fell off the side of the bed with a thud. Footsteps approached the bedroom and Lafayette appeared in the doorway, with Hercules just behind him carrying numerous shopping bags packed with various groceries. 

“Alexander, mon petit lion! We went to get you some food so you’ll consume something other than coffee. Are you and John–”

Lafayette paused his exuberant speech as he caught sight of Alex laying haphazardly on the floor, with a scarlet face that matched John’s. The Frenchman's face morphed into delight as he came to his own conclusions.

“Mes amis, I see that you have been busy.”

Alexander didn’t think that it was possible for his face to get any redder.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked my first fic.  
> Tell me what you think. :)


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